One month after our first ultrasound and after learning that we’re having twins, we were due for another one. I have been waiting for that day.. really excited to see my babies again. And it’s also the end of my first trim, meaning, I can finally announced that I am pregnant with twins! This pregnancy was not easy, I get tired easily. I can’t even walk my kids to school which was just 300 meters away from our house. I stopped attending events because I just can’t physically. The morning sickness is worse than my other pregnancies. But I am having twins, all these pains are sooo worth it.
Then the unthinkable happened.. on our second ultrasound, the sonographer only saw one baby. I don’t understand.. it’s supposed to be twins! She said my OB will explain… and my mind couldn’t comprehend.. what happened? where is my other baby? what have I done?
The OB said it happens.. and that the genes of the baby is not good and that it will be reabsorbed by the body.. wait.. wait.. where’s my baby again? What happened to my baby? And as the OB finished her routine, I burst into tears.
Why didn’t the OB warned me about it? During our last check up, she said the babies looked fine, though the other one is 2 weeks smaller, they both have a heartbeat. I asked then if I should worry, what are the precautions I need to take.. she said I don’t have to worry. I just need to take my prenatal vitamins.. so what happened?!?
I was crying the whole time.. I was crying the whole day.. I just couldn’t stop wondering what happened? What have I done wrong? Did I fail to do something? What have I done?
I was never prepared for this…there was never a sign that the other baby is not OK.
You know what made me feel better? Aside from my husband’s support and prayers..
After 4 hours of nonstop crying, I started reading about twins pregnancy and the other twin not surviving. The condition is called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. According to American Pregnancy.org, it was first recognized in 1945. Although most of the cause were unknown, some analysis suggests that there is an abnormality on the chromosome of the twin that vanished.
What are the signs of a possible Vanishing Twin Syndrome?
In my case, there was none. I never experienced anything. I never had bleeding, no cramps, nothing at all. From my ultrasound, they both look healthy, both have a heartbeat. As my OB said, she never suspected anything.
Some readings suggest that women at the age of 30 has a higher risk of experiencing it but it can also be noted that women at this age also has a higher tendency to hyper ovulate (releasing two or more eggs during ovulation which leads to multiple pregnancy).
How to prevent Vanishing Twin Syndrome?
Unfortunately, there is no way to prevent it… you won’t even know when the vanishing started.
What happened to the vanishing twin?
In our case, it vanished.. no signs at all inside my womb. The OB said it was absorbed by my body.
What will happen to the surviving baby?
In my readings, most cases said the the surviving baby will be OK because the vanishing happened on the first trimester. If it happened later on the pregnancy, specially after 20 weeks, researchers found that the surviving twin has an increased risk of cerebral palsy. Also, if it happens at around 15 weeks or more, some of the body parts of the baby will be absorb by the surviving twin.
How about the mother? Is there a medical complication on the mother who experienced Vanishing Twin Syndrome?
Most of my readings suggest that there is no physical threat on the mother if the VTS happened on the 1st trim. But emotionally, it is draining. Even though I already know what happened to my other twin, I just can’t help but wonder why.. the feeling of losing a baby is not easy.. even though it was just a few weeks old. For the past month, I have imagined our lives with our twins. The thought of breastfeeding a twin excites me. The thought of caring not just one but two toddlers, overwhelms me positively. And then it was gone.. I am having a hard time accepting the new reality that we are to face.
There are so many “consolations” in our case.. but I still can’t see that in a light way. I need to mourn for the loss of my baby, for a missed opportunity with him or her.
Badet Siazon says
August 26, 2015 at 2:51 pm*hugs* mare! We’re here for you mapa-single, twins, triplets or basketball team pa yan 🙂
Mommy Pehpot says
August 28, 2015 at 4:33 pmBasketball team lang? Ang goal namin Snow White and the 7.. hahaha
Jho Tacorda says
August 26, 2015 at 3:16 pmIt’s a happy sad story Mommy Pehpot but God is still good atleast the other one survived. Congrats pa rin and take care!:)
Mommy Pehpot says
August 28, 2015 at 4:33 pmThanks Jho!
Gerilen says
August 27, 2015 at 1:29 pmNaiiyak ako sa post mo Mommy. I think I will ponder about your twins tonight.
I have no words. Basta be strong for your surviving baby. Hinga malalim and smile (fake it until you make it). Tama, focus ka sa consolation.Pero let yourself mourn first for Twin B. *hug*
Mommy Pehpot says
August 27, 2015 at 2:08 pmThanks so much Gerilen!
After writing this (while crying).. somehow I feel better kahit kaunti..
Gerilen says
August 27, 2015 at 3:29 pmYes, its’s good to write down/cry – outlet para makamove on tayo. Twin B maybe gone, but baby has a place carved in your heart. 🙂
I hope this helps/gets you through – https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1024808144218588&set=a.308057639226979.78181.100000682368717&type=1&theater
Mommy Pehpot says
August 27, 2015 at 4:35 pmawwww thanks so much for this!
Michelle Martinez邱碧玉 (@xoxoMrsMartinez) says
August 27, 2015 at 4:19 pmThis is a sad story. I want to hug you right now ; (
xoxo
MrsMartinez
Mommy Pehpot says
August 27, 2015 at 4:35 pmThanks so much Michelle! It means a lot to me…
SJ Valdez says
August 28, 2015 at 6:20 amHugs, Mommy Pehpot.
SJ Valdez says
August 28, 2015 at 6:23 amTumutulo ang luha ko, hindi ko mapigilan. Take care, Mommy Pehpot. You have to stay strong, happy, and healthy for the other baby. May little angel ka na sa heaven.
Mommy Pehpot says
August 28, 2015 at 4:27 pmThanks SJ! sabi ko nga kay Sati, may sarili na kameng Nathaniel! haha
Kaye says
August 28, 2015 at 7:02 amPeh, so sorry to hear about the other baby. I wish I could hug you right now. As your research tells you, there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it, so I hope you don’t blame yourself anymore. Silver lining, the other baby is still there. It’s still one more angel for you and Cata. Love you Peh. I know you’re strong, you’ll get through it.
Mommy Pehpot says
August 28, 2015 at 4:26 pmThanks Kaye! naiyak naman ako sa comment.. pero it made me feel better 🙂
Eunice says
September 15, 2015 at 5:28 pmSorry to hear the news. For concerns, you may contact the nearest obgyne doctor in your residence for immediate actions. Visit MyDoctorFinder. MyDoctorFinder is a web application with the most comprehensive listing of doctors, hospitals, clinics and pharmacies in the Philippines. For more info, visit My Doctor Finder website
Grace says
February 8, 2016 at 4:18 pmI happen to see your website while looking for relief to the grief that I am feeling. I just found out that I lost my Twin B when I had my checkup 2nd week of January. I was 31 weeks pregnant then. I thought they were fine because they had really strong fetal heart tones as late as 3rd week of December so I thought they were doing fine. I didn’t understand how a fetus at around 28 weeks could just ‘vanish’ – no trace at all during my 2nd ultrasound and no heartbeat with my OB’s Doppler. I seeked 2nd opinion at a hospital with modern facilities and saw how small and deformed my Twin B has become. I was really devastated. But like you, I have to be healthy and strong for Twin A. At least hindi silang dalawa ang nawala. There is still hope for us to be good moms to our remaining babies.
Mommy Pehpot says
February 9, 2016 at 4:27 pmHello Grace.. if I can only give you a hug right now..